Irish Temperament
by ColeridgeFan
Summary: It’s St. Patty’s Day and Dee celebrates the good ol’ fashion way and Ryo is left to pick up the pieces. First FAKE Fic! Please R&R! A day late for the holiday, sorry! :) More fluffy content added. Welcome to the stage...chap. 3!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I'm not even sure I own this computer, so how in the WORLD could I own Fake?

Warnings: Shonan-ai (no shit) and naughty cops on a bender (muahahaha)

Time frame: Before the 7th Manga.

Summary: It's St. Patty's Day and Dee celebrates the good ol' fashion way and Ryo is left to pick up the pieces.

Irish Temperament

"Ryo, you're coming tonight right?"

"What are you talking about?" Ryo asked his partner.

Dee sighed; leave it to Ryo to not pay attention to a conversation in the work place if it didn't involve actual work.

Rolling his eyes, Dee answered, "Everyone is going to Sherlock's Pub tonight! It's St. Patrick's Day; the one day where it's PC to get completely wasted! Everyone's going to meet up there. Well, except for J.J.; he doesn't drink," Dee added this last remark with a certain amount of joy in his voice; the last thing Dee wanted was a drunken J.J. pawing him all night.

Ryo, on the other hand, was thinking the last thing _he_ wanted was a drunken _Dee_ pawing _him_ all night.

"Um, I'm good, thanks anyway," Ryo answered.

Dee face fell slightly. He had been really looking forward to relaxing and having a few drinks with Ryo.

Around 5 o' clock Ted sauntered up to Dee and Ryo's work station.

"Yo, Dee, you ready to go?"

Dee stood, stretching, "Oh, yea, free at last!" He turned to his partner, "Last chance Ryo. Come on, it'll be fun, you can work on you people skills," Dee smirked.

"Ha, ha, ha, oh you're funny. But I'd rather not; I don't like large crowds."

Dee shrugged and waved goodbye.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Come on, Ted don't be such a wimp!"

Dee was VERY drunk and had decided to challenge Ted and Drake to a drinking contest while Marty was left to referee.

Ted's head was lolling to and fro on the bar, "No, man. I give up. Take the money, I don't care. I think I'm gonna be…" He quickly sat up and stumbled away to "prey to the porcelain god".

Dee snickered, "Well Drakey boy, it just you and me!" He raised his glass high over head in a dramatic "cheers".

"Drake? Drake! Yo! Aww, come man, you old grandma,"

But Drake was already passed out.

"I guess it's all you man. I'd better get him home; he'll feel like shit later. So will you man," Marty hoisted Drake to his feet and dragged him out of the bar. Ted stumbled out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Fumbling with his cell phone, he pressed one of his speed dial numbers and waited for an answer.

"J.J. come pick me up. Yeah, I know it's late. Come on man; I'll by you breakfast tomorrow. Yeah, yeah anything you want just come on. Yeah, uh-huh. Ok, I got it. In twenty. Ok, bye."

Dee patted Ted on the back, paid his tab and walked rather unsteadily out of the bar. In the parking lot he saw Drake puking next to Marty's Toyota.

"See ya later," Dee waved drunkenly in their general direction and headed to his car.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dee!" Marty ran up to him.

"Huh?"

"Your out of your mind if you think your gonna drive. Your shit-faced man."

"Hey, your gonna drive and you've been drinking!"

"Yeah, but I paced my self, made sure I drank lots of water in between, and had a full dinner. Give me you cell."

Dee muttered something about not being a child, but handed over his phone nonetheless. Marty dialed.

"Ryo? No, it's Marty. Listen, Dee's a little tipsy. Huh? Fine, he's completely fucking drunk and he needs a ride. No, I can't. Drake's puking all over my car. I gotta make sure he doesn't pass out on his back and drown in his own vomit. Yeah, I know, sorry. Uh-huh. Ok, I'll tell him. Right, bye."

Marty handed back the cell phone.

"Ryo's on his way; he sounds annoyed so try not to piss him off too much. Just wait out here."

Dee frowned and once again muttered under his breath about not being a child and not needing a baby sitter, but he sat down on the hood of his care all the same. He could hear Marty warning Drake of the consequences if Drake should throw up in Marty's car.

Ten minutes later Ryo pulled up and Dee got in the car.

He looked sideways at Ryo," Sorry 'bout this."

Ryo sighed, but said nothing. When they pulled into Ryo's parking garage, Dee looked around questioningly.

"Ryo?"

"Just come on, Dee. I don't want to drive all the way out to your apartment to drop you off, and then tomorrow, have to pick you up and take you to get your car, so just come on."

Ryo walked off to his front door with Dee following at a small distance.

Once inside, Ryo started grabbing bedding to set up the couch with. Dee watched for a few minutes before quietly sneaking up on Ryo from behind and snaking his arms around his waist. Ryo stiffened instantly and his breath caught when Dee slowly started kissing his neck. Dee moved up to Ryo's ear and started to nibble.

Ryo moaned softly and began to yield. Dee slowly turned him around and gently kissed his Adam's apple.

"Dee," Ryo said in a voice that was both excited and nervous.

"I just wanted to thank you for picking me up tonight."

Dee kissed Ryo full on the lips. Ryo moaned and allowed his mouth to be forced open by Dee's insistent tongue. Slowly he wrapped his arms around Dee and pulled him closer allowing his fingers to catch in Dee's hair. Separating briefly in order to take a breath, Dee started to back Ryo up until they both fell onto the couch, Dee on top.

"Mmmm, this is much better, don't you think?"

"Dee…"

But Ryo was silenced one again by Dee's lips and his hands stroking his hair. Dee slowly moved down Ryo's chin to his neck and started to unbutton his shirt. When Dee's hand brushed his hand against Ryo's nipple, he tensed up again.

"Dee…stop."

"Mmmm…"

"Seriously, stop it."

"Uh-uh, don't wanna."

"Damn it Dee I said STOP," Ryo pushed Dee off and he landed with a soft THUNK on the floor.

Dee sighed and raked his hand through his hair, "Ryo, I wish you would make up your mind about me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryo responded with an air of irritation.

"If you don't want me to kiss you, why do you pull me closer? Why do let it go on? And if you _do_ want to be with me, why do you push me away? Why do you cut it short?"

It was Ryo's turn to sigh, "You're drunk Dee and you're gonna feel like shit tomorrow. You need to get some sleep."

"You're running away again."

Ryo helped Dee up from the floor and quickly set up the couch as a make shift bed. Dee watched this under half closed eyes. When Ryo was satisfied with his work he walked up to Dee and surprised him by kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Go to bed Dee. It's a good thing we have tomorrow off, or you would be even more miserable than you are going to be."

As he walked away Dee grabbed his arm and kissed him forcefully; Ryo didn't pull away.

"Fine, I'll be a good boy tonight," Dee said once they parted, "but we're gonna talk about this tomorrow. When does Bikky come home form his school trip?"

"Saturday."

"Good," Dee smiled a wicked smile, "So it will just be the two of us ALL day."

Ryo blushed all the way to his bedroom.

END.

A/N: Well, there you are, my First Fake Fic. Bikky goes to a great school…he's always away on school trips! -o Anyway, I might write a second chapter, if anyone is interested. If not, then that's fine too. Thanks for reading, and please review! Please?

P.S. I hope my title didn't offend anyone; it wasn't meant to! 


	2. Bell Pepper Omelets

Disclaimer: Me own FAKE? Yes, and I also own a bunch of ompa lompas that go out at night to do my evil bidding. (Hey, you lawyer, that was a joke!)

Warnings: Shonan-ai and some content that is suspiciously fluffy. Hmmm…

Summary: Wakey, wakey time for Dee, but well, one part drinkey plus another part drinkey equals a BAD morning. :P

Chapter two: Bell Pepper Omelet

"Uh….Huuuaackkguhh…oh….huuagguuhhh"

_What in the world?_

"Ohh, I'm gonna die! Get the shovel; say a prayer to St. Michael or whoever…"

_Oh, yeah…Dee._

Ryo pulled the cover off of his head and blinked at the sunlight shinning through the windows. Stretching and popping his back, Ryo reached for his robe. Tying the waist closed and stumbling through the bedroom door, he tried to get his eyes to focus as he staggered toward the partially open bathroom door. Steeling himself to the mess he knew he would have to clean up, he put on an annoyingly cheery face.

"Well, good morning Dee!"

"Ahh, don't yell like that you big meanie."

Ryo smirked and stepped full into the bathroom where he was surprised to see very little mess. Digging through the medicine cabinet, he smacked a bottle of Aspirin into Dee's hand.

"Take two and I'll go make you some coffee and dry toast."

After Ryo left the room Dee dry swallowed about eight pills and washed his face and mouth.

Holding his head in both hands, Dee went into the living room to grab his duffle bag he had had with him at work the day before. Digging through it he found his workout suit he had planned on using at the station's gym before plans of drinking had popped up.

"I feel disgusting…I'm gonna take a shower, 'kay Ryo?"

"That's fine," came the response from the kitchen.

Dee grinned. He couldn't help it; every time Ryo spoke to him he couldn't help smiling.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ryo was glad Dee was distracted but, he, Ryo, couldn't take his mind off the events of last night.

_What's wrong with you today? Stop thinking like that. Dee's your friend, that's all. That's ALL._

But no matter what he thought in his mind, his heart was telling him a different story. Every time Dee touched him, his heart would tell a tale that varied greatly from the one his mind was trying to impose.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Ryo continued cutting up bell peppers for his omelet.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Dee's face contorted into a mix of sly cunning and horny lust as he snuck up on his would-be life partner in the kitchen. Snaking his arms around Ryo's back, Dee began to nuzzle against Ryo's neck. On retrospect, Dee thought he should not have snuck up on an officer of the law while said officer was holding a rather large knife.

Ryo spun around with such a shocked expression it would have been comical if he hadn't been holding the before mentioned knife.

"Jesus fucking Christ Ryo!"

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry Dee! You just surprised me; its not like I did it on purpose," Ryo said as he guided Dee's forearm under the sink to run water on the not-so-horrible cut that appeared with bloody accuracy on Dee's precious body.

"Come on; first aid kit's in the bathroom"

While Dee whined and moaned that he was bleeding to death, Ryo dug out the disinfectant and a large roll of bandages.

"Oh, hush, your fine…it's just a scratch."

"It's gonna scar, I just know it. My beautiful arm!"

"Jeez, could you be anymore full of yourself, Dee?"

Dee grinned, "You know you love it, _baby._"

Just as Dee had meant it to, that last word immediately painted a red hue on Ryo's cheeks.

"Um, there, all patched up."

"Aww, aren't you gonna kiss it and make it feel better?"

"You're not five, now come on, I'm hungry and now I have to grab a new knife since you infected my favorite one."

As Ryo went to leave the bathroom, Dee grabbed him with his good arm and pulled Ryo to himself.

"But, my arm still hurts…"

"Dee, cut it out; besides don't you have a hangover?"

"Hmmm, I bet you could cure that."

"Somehow I doubt th-"

Dee planted his lops firmly on Ryo's with as much passion as he could muster. As per usual, Ryo fought at first, but eventually gave in and pulled Dee closer to him. Dee's tongue licked over Ryo's bottom lip, and Ryo opened his mouth just enough so Dee could enter. Sucking on Dee's tongue, Ryo's hand moved up to Dee's hair and began to stroke it. Dee's hand did the opposite and went lower down Ryo's body.

"Mmmm, Dee- stop. I said STOP!"

Ryo pulled away slightly so he could look into Dee's eyes.

Blushingly he said, "Your hands need to stop roaming."

Dee just grinned, "Sorry."

"Yeah, I just bet you are."

Dee kissed the tip of Ryo's noise and released him, "What d'ya know, my hangover's all gone and now I'm starving."

"Food and sex; that's all you think about."

"Well, not exactly in that order. Former before the latter. Gotta work up to that appetite."

"You're a pig."

"You know you love it. What's for breakfast then?"

"Bell Pepper Omelets a'la Me."

"And what makes them so special?"

"Well, you don't have to cook them, how about that?"

"Ahh, good point."

"I thought so. Now, stay out of my way. You don't want a matching cut on the other arm."

TBC?

A/N: I can't help but try to write funny. FAKE is a funny series, not to mention HOT!

Well, let me know what you think…they WILL have that talk from chap. 1 eventually. If I continue this, you, the reader, may have to disregard the last manga all together.

P.S. What's with the new rating system? Oh, and also, can someone tell me what WAFF means? Thanks muchly!


	3. Show Tunes

A/N: Hello everyone! Decided to get off my ass and write a third chapter! Pointless fluff alert:)

Disclaimer: FAKE is not mine, but you probably guessed that already?

Warnings: Look out for SHOW TUNES! AHHHH! Oh, yeah, and that shonan-ai stuff all the kids are into these days…

Title: Show Tunes

The omelets were, of course, perfect.

_Figures. Ryo cooked after all. Mmmm…I just bet he does EVERYTHING perfect._

"Dee? Hey, earth to Dee!"

Ryo waived his hand inches in front of Dee's eyes. Dee was gazing into space with a wicked glint in his green eyes that made Ryo worry about his personal safety.

"Huh, oh, uh, sorry Ryo. I was lost in my thoughts."

Those thoughts, which had Ryo in a very compromising situation, were not shared. Instead Dee stored them in the folder in his mind entitled "hot and heavy" for later.

Meanwhile, Ryo finished clearing away the breakfast dishes.

"How's your hangover now Dee?"

Dee grinned, "Well, ever since your "special cure" I am feeling worlds better."

Ryo rolled his eyes and managed a look of irritation that was not entirely heart felt.

"That's a shame. If you suffered a little more, maybe you would learn a valuable lesson. I don't understand why you don't take those 'no hangover' tablets. You know the ones I'm talking about. They look like Alkaseltzer."

Dee simply "humphed" and flopped down on the sofa, remote in hand. Ryo followed, but did not sit down.

"How about we go out and do something Dee? I'm tired of you coming over and all we do is stare at the T.V."

"I thought we could watch the basketball game?"

"You know I hate sports. I couldn't care less about basketball. I'm bored, and some how I doubt you yelling at the screen is going to alleviate my boredom."

Dee, with a panther-like quality, stood up and took two steps toward Ryo. On his face was the copyrighted "Dee smirk".

"Well, I'm sure I can do something to take care of that for you."

Dee stepped even closer and put his arm around Ryo shoulders. Ryo just shot him down.

"Knock it off. I'm serious. Come on, get your shoes on and let's go do something." And with that Ryo went into his bedroom to change.

Dee was stunned for a moment. Ryo had NEVER successfully dismissed Dee. Anger started forming under the surface. But Dee quenched it with the juicy thought that Ryo wanted to go out with HIM. Dee put on his trainers as fast as his nimble fingers would allow.

"Well, we're out of doors, so what do you want to do? Usually people play basketball on a day with such great weather."

"Dee, the only 'usual people' you are talking about is yourself, and I wouldn't call you 'usual'. No sports. You know how bad I am and I don't want the rest of the city knowing that I have two left feet and the grace of a dog in dancing shoes."

Dee couldn't help but laugh as he remembered the last time he had coaxed Ryo into a 'friendly game' of B-ball. It ended with Ryo having to take leave for two days with a sprained ankle.

"How about we walk over to Bethesda Fountain?"

Dee rolled his eyes. He knew the only reason Ryo liked the fountain was because it was in the movie "Godspell".

"Fine, but if you start singing "Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord" you're gonna end up IN the fountain."

Ryo laughed. He had made Dee watch "Godspell" at least ten times. Dee had said that the liking of musicals was "girly".

The park was pretty empty, which surprised the both of them. The walk to Bethesda Fountain was uneventful with the exception of Dee successfully (on the third attempt) snaking his arm around Ryo's shoulders. They sat down on a bench and just watched the water spill from the angel for a while.

"Prepare ye the way of the Lord, prepare ye the way of the Lord…"

Dee pulled Ryo up from the bench.

"What did I tell you? I'm about to baptize YOU with water for repentence!"

Ryo fought through his laughter, "No, Dee, come on. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, I'll stop come on…"

In order to avoid being thrown into the fountain, Ryo clung to Dee as the latter tried to dump him into the water. Of course after two attempts, Dee realized the position that they were in and took advantage of his partner's closeness.

Ryo didn't register that he was in danger until it was to late. Dee's hand moved up to Ryo's hair, while the other one rested on Ryo's hip. His laughter stopped with an abrupt gasp as Dee started to kiss along Ryo's neck.

"Dee…stop, we're in public for Christ's sake."

"Nope. This is your punishment for singing show tunes."

"I'm serious-mmmph"

Dee kissed him full on the lips and with enough skill to halt Ryo's protest in its tracks. Although he tried his hardest to repress it, the light-headed giddiness returned to Ryo's senses.

No! I should make him stop! This isn't right…it's just…oh my God… 

Dee's tongue had unobtrusively made its way into Ryo's mouth. Ryo slowly realized that his hands were caught in Dee's hair and he was, in fact, pressing his body into Dee's. When they finally broke apart for air, Ryo's eyes had a glazed look that only Dee could induce.

"it's not as fun as seeing you all wet, but I guess it will have to do."

Dee moved in for a second attack, and, to his surprise, Ryo complied.

What's going on with me? Why am I letting him do this? More important, why am I enjoying it? 

Dee was trying to press into Ryo as far as he could, but his usual 'push Ryo against the wall' tactic was flawed, owing to the fact that, at the present time, there was no wall behind them. Rather a very large fountain to the place of said wall. Ryo couldn't fight for balance until he was already at a doomed angle.

"Ahhh!"

SPLASH!

At first all Ryo could here was the water rushing around his ears, but as he came up moments later, he realized Dee was laughing.

"Damn it Dee, its not funny!"

Dee tried to look contrite, but failed miserably. He burst out laughing again.

Meanwhile, Ryo was trying to regain his balance and crawl out to dry land. He wasn't doing a good job of it. The fountain's bottom was slippery and he kept falling back in. On the forth try he landed on top of Dee, back first, who grinned and grabbed Ryo around the waist.

"Hi."

Ryo knew it was pointless to fight back so he just sat there and tried to catch his breath, which was difficult since Dee had his chin on Ryo's shoulder and the arms were pulling him closer.

"Come on Dee, let go. Its cold and I want to go home, where it's warm."

Dee started to nibble Ryo's neck which made him gasp and made his heart beat faster. Dee slowly moved up to Ryo's earlobe and started to suck gently. Immediately, Ryo's posture slumped, as he fell against Dee's chest. His hand went to the back of Dee's scalp and dug into Dee's hair.

No, no, no, no. It's nice, yes, but we're going to catch a cold sitting here. Stop, NOW! 

"Dee, stop," Ryo's voice came out strong enough to hide the quiver.

"Now why would I want to do that?"

"Because we are going to get sick sitting here. Let's go home." He paused, then added more gently, "Please, Dee, I hate getting sick. Come on."

Dee, looking like a dog whose master had been teasing him with a piece of steak only to eat it himself, grumbled an ascent and helped Ryo out. Ryo shivered as Dee crawled out himself.

"God, I'm freezing."

Walking back to the apartment, Dee put his arm around Ryo to keep him warm. Ryo smiled. Almost.

TBC?

A/N: Oops, Ryo's a little OOC here, sorry. I don't plan things out before I write, I just kind of start out and hope for the best. Please read and review!

**Thanks to Kitty in the Box, Kurohi Tatsaki, and Lady of Callisto for reviewing my last chapter!**

**AVDVERTISMENT: EVERYONE SHOULD GO READ "YESTURDAY'S FEELINGS" BY LADY OF CALLISTO! ONE OF THE BEST "FAKE" FANFICs AROUND!**


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